Jay Cookingham…Freelance writer, graphic designer, husband, father, and longtime member of FaithWriters.com. Join interviewer, Lynda Schab, as she talks with Jay about his writing, his family, and his passion.
Lynda Schab: You are a FaithWriter "oldie" – and I mean that in a good way! You've been a member for about five years now. How did you first discover the site?
Jay Cookingham: Wow…five years…how about a "mature" FW instead? On second thought, mature probably wouldn't work for me either.
Anyways, it was around that time, five years ago, when I felt God was asking me to take my writing seriously and out of the "just for fun" category. So I did a little web surfing and Googling (is that a word now?) and came across FaithWriters. I signed up and the rest is literary history…at least my history. I enjoyed the site so much that I became a 500 member a few years later.
Lynda: You're obviously an artistic and creative person, all around. You are a freelance writer, but for twenty-five years, you've also worked as a graphic designer. I have to say, when I checked out your website, www.jaycookingham.com , I was very impressed with the work you've done! Tell us a little about your life as a graphic designer.
Jay: Remember the Clint Eastwood movie "The Good, the bad and the ugly?" Well, I am glad that God has guided and directed me to the good part now but for many years I was stuck in the bad, and even ugly. Freelancing can be hard and extremely frustrating due to some clients liking the word "free" in freelancing and trying to pay accordingly.
Still, the Father has blessed my efforts and, overall, I have had a successful career, I'm especially proud that I have helped over two hundred authors realize their dream of publishing their work. Designing book covers is no doubt my favorite creative soirée because of the ministry aspect of it all. In all of my work, I partner with the client to communicate and transform their dream into a tangible item…it ends up being a huge blessing to both of us.
Lynda: You have a heart for ministering to men, particularly fathers. In fact, you have your own website, www.strategicfathering.com , which does just that. Did the desire to reach out to and encourage fathers evolve or was there a particular time or event in your life that led to it?
Jay: I grew up in abusive home; my father was an angry, violent man. God, in his wisdom and mercy, moved us right next door to a Christian family and I became friends with the kids. My new friends had a dad who understood the "Spirit of Adoption" and I became a part of their family. Because of them I became a Christian. That man's example of fathering impacted me even at the young age of seven and planted the seed for what is now, Strategic Fathering.
Ps 27:10 has also been an inspiration for me. I have known the Father's love from the beginning and that is the passion behind the whole vision for SF, which is helping men (and women, too) understand how much Father God loves them! The freedom and the power that results from settling that issue is critical, I believe, to becoming the people He wants to be.
Psalm 27:10 (King James Version)
When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.
Lynda: You are a father yourself—seven times over! Tell us a little about each of your children. And brag on your wife a bit too.
Jay: My wife is the most amazing woman on the planet! I often tell people that we have a strange and wonderful relationship…I'm strange and she's wonderful. We just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary in June - no doubt the best 25 years of my life. Christine home schools our seven children with grace and style. I have even given her a business card with the title of "Human Design Engineer," which is only one of the things a mom actually does! She is my best friend and biggest fan…she completes me.
As for my small nation, my oldest is Joshua (18) is an aspiring movie director and about start college. Sarah is 16 and she's into dance, horses, piano and being a great daughter. Matthew, 14; is almost always smiling and hopes to make baseball his career someday. Next in line is Mike, my 12 year-old. He is the quiet one in a family of talkers but when he does speak it is usually some cool observation or a great question. He would like to be a pilot someday. Daniel is 9 and is pure passion, loves to serve and is extremely generous with whatever he has. My seven year-old son, Isaac is the philosopher of the family. He helps us reflect with questions like, "can we just sit and watch the mushrooms grow?" And then there's Becky, the youngest at five years old. Picture a ballerina, a ninja, and a clown…that's my daughter! Charming and dangerous all wrapped up in a little body but a huge delight to everyone. I love them all; they help me be a better father and a better man.
Lynda: Speaking of fathers, how did you spend Father's Day this year ?
Jay: I started the day early with my Heavenly Father on my front porch while everyone was still sleeping. Later on I made breakfast for the whole gang (despite the protest from my kids who wanted to make it for me). We attend church on Saturday nights so we had the whole day to enjoy each other, playing games, watching MY favorite movie (The Wrath of Khan…Kirk rules!) and then we went out to eat. All in all, it was a great day. During breakfast I reminded my kids why I love them so much and how being their dad is so wonderful. That's really what Father's Day is all about…reminding everyone that daddy loves them.
Lynda: You've contributed to many books and anthologies, including the "God's Way" series, "Soul Matters For Men," and "Smiles for Dads." What advice do you have for writers who wish to break in to this growing market?
Jay: You know, I feel blessed to be included in these fine publications; there are so many talented authors involved. My first piece of advice is, of course, to just write - all the time. And be prepared to submit stories as opportunities present themselves. I wrote a monthly newsletter for a whole year and when I was suddenly invited to submit some material, I had a stockpile ready to choose from. I first found out about the God's Way series through FaithWriters. And that first contact helped propel my "professional" writing career.
Second, I would suggest surfing and searching for projects that interest you - they are out there.
Most importantly, pray that God will open doors for your giftedness to be used for and by Him. It is cool to see your work published but when I get feedback on how my story has touched someone's life….that's huge. So writing becomes another way to express the Father's love. It's all connected.
Lynda: Finally, if your life were a book, what would the title be? Write a brief synopsis of your life's story.
Jay: The title would be "No matter where you go…there you are" It's so true; no matter where life takes you…you're there! So, we should make the most of where we are, loving and living to the fullest. So much of my life I didn't show up for, I used excuses, played the victim role very well and missed out. When the Father convinced me of His great love, I realized that I was free and could live…freely!
A lot of people ask me what my ministry is and I tell them that's it's the Jesus ministry…I come to do the will of the Father. I figure if I approach the rest of my life in that manner I'll be in the right place for ministry to happen through me. The book on me is that I am passionate about being married to my wife, crazy about my kids, and extremely motivated to be the kind of brother that honors God.
Most of all, I'm trying to be like my Father…who is good and everything He does is good.
Lynda: And that should be the goal of every Christian out there as well. Great insight, Jay! I've so enjoyed talking with you. May you continue to enjoy being in that "good" place and may God continue to bless your family, your career and your ministry!
